About Movie

"IT SHOULDN'T BE LIKE THIS." "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?" "I FEEL SO BAD." Everyone in their lives will feel like this at some points and, sometimes, many times over. It's not easy to know where to turn or what to do. The world seems like such a dark place at moments like these. And, yet, really, the world is the same as it always has been and always will be no matter what's happening in your life - you still shop, prepare food, shower, clean your clothes, talk to people, go for walks - and everything around you doesn't seem to notice - why doesn't the world just stop and help you? It's not like that and it never will be - the sooner you can see that what's happening in your life right now is just a "blip" interwoven in a myriad of life's offerings, the sooner you'll understand and appreciate that no one is spared and that "you're not the only one".

What's good for you now? YOU - you are the best thing that ever happening to you right now! I've been through many of life's tumultuous times - it gets easier to cope with them and to take action - of course, the key here is "take action" even if you don't feel it! Feel is the key word here because action and the way you feel are not particularly connected in your space right now. The last thing you want is to take action of any sort - wallowing is closer to the norm.

1. First, we rage and blame - let's face it, what is more exciting that raging and blaming - it makes you feel alive at a time when your insides feel numb. Of course, you soon discover there's real emptiness in this approach.

2. We feel sorry for ourselves - this too can only go on so long. The isolation which this creates internally and externally doesn't really help.

3. Depression often becomes a friend - When you get as far as depression, you know it's too far. You need to get out of this space as soon as you possibly can otherwise it's a downward spiral and, trust me, you really, really don't want to go there - anything that goes down doesn't necessarily come up again - it may sound like a good thing to you right now - it isn't!

So is there another way - yes - and the sooner you start, the better.

1. Allow yourself a pity party whenever you need it - once a day, once a week, once a month - give yourself a half hour, an hour or even an afternoon - allow yourself to feel the feeling you're feeling but set a deadline to stop. The best one is an hour - go for a walk, feel bad, cry, yell, do whatever you need to do and get back on board! For how long? Until you don't need it any more and you won't - it'll become really boring to you eventually.

2. Stop the blame - there's no one to blame - not you, not the world, not society, not your family, not your employer, not your friends - IT IS WHAT IT IS - the sooner you accept what has happened, the better. It's happened! It's over! There's nothing you can do to change the past. And whatever has you in this state is in the past though it feels very real and alive to you.

3. Take the time to get to know yourself - Whenever something happens that's negative in your life, it's the perfect time to connect with yourself. Who are you? How have you changed? How will you be changed forever because of what has happened? What positive things have you learned about yourself - coping, beliefs, strength, weakness, power, lack of power - and how does that make you feel? Do you want to change?

3. Choose - this is probably the most important part - once you choose, you'll feel much better. Start with something small at first. For instance, if you have lost your job, begin with looking on the internet and in newspapers for jobs or, if you've always wanted to be in your own business, investigate the possibility of starting a business of your own. If you've lost someone, think of ways that you can turn your loss into something positive - placing flowers on their favorite park bench and thinking of all the wonderful times you had together.

You can then continue making choices for yourself which will take you, every single day, onto a new path - a new life -

4. Connect with people in a positive way - go out with people to enjoy their company - not to talk about your problem. In fact, minimize talk about your issue or don't talk about it at all. Just enjoy. I know - it's the last thing you want to do - it's really one of the best things to do - go to a museum, for a walk, to a sports game, to a movie - note the "doing" part here -

5. Action - Take action - every single day, plan to do 3 things - just 3 things - that's all - and once you've accomplished those three things, then plan for the next 3 things the next day. For instance, you write your resume, write a couple of draft letters to employers and research the net for information about writing resumes and cover letters. If you have experienced loss, research the internet for support groups, call a friend and go for lunch, write a plan of action for the next 3 days. Each step is a step forward - keep moving - this momentum will eventually accelerate.

Is it overnight change? No. Will it get you back into life? Yes. Will the bad feelings go away? Yes and No - you'll always remember and know what happened but at least you'll be "living with it" instead of having it take over your entire world. Is it a foolproof formula? It's a start - a few things to get you back into the game. Everyone is different - some people go directly to action and do not make the other stops - it's fine - it's whatever works for you! If you don't have a path though, each of these steps can help.

No one can do it for you - no one - only you - no one can make you feel better - only you - no one can change what happened - not even you!