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Almost everybody has had a romance that ended. Each time a romance ends, at least one part of the couple hurts. It can be devastating to feel like you failed at something you considered important. And in many cases, the one left hurting goes looking for ways to get the ex back.

Romances end for a variety of reasons. And sometimes, ending the relationship is good for both parties. If the relationship you are so broken up about was abusive whether it was physical, verbal, or emotional, you are better off by far. Do not even think about trying to get your ex back.

It is interesting that most relationships follow a pattern. When the romance is new, everything is wonderful and rosy. After a short period of time, you become comfortable with your partner and allow yourself to get into a rut. And soon you become aware of all the little annoying habits your partner has that you never noticed before. Trouble begins to simmer.

As the troubles escalate, your relationship is tested. You have to decide if you want to continue with this person whose habits are irritating, or do you just want to quit. There are even times when you think the relationship could be great again if only you knew what to do.

Relationships are work. There is no time to let down your guard. You must work to keep the relationship going good. If you ignore it, it will die.

You are reading this article because you are trying to learn how to get your ex back. Here are some steps that will help you do just that.

1. Take a break. Usually after a relationship has failed, both parties need a cooling off period. You must take time away from each other and clear your head so you can think. Make it a point not to contact him in any way. No phone calls, no emails, no test messages. There must be absolute silence from you

This time apart from each other gives you time to think about the relationship and if you would be interested in rekindling the romance.

2. Find the real you again. During this cooling down period, take the time to pamper yourself. You should become your own biggest fan. Develop some new interests whether it is playing cards with your friends or learning to golf. Get together with friends and go to the movies, learn to belly dance, or something else that is fun.

Take special note of your personal appearance. Do not allow yourself to look like you have lost your best friend, even though you have. Perk up! Wear a smile all the time. Give yourself a make over, from your hair style to a pedicure. Buy a new outfit in your favorite color, or at least the color that you wear the best.

3. Keep control of the face-to-face meeting. You think it is time to ask to meet with your ex. You have healed enough from the breakup that you can talk about it. Before you make the date to meet, know what you want to talk about, and know where you want to meet. Look your best when you meet. If you look confident, and move with confidence, you can be a winner. If you will control the meeting, your ex cannot use this discussion of the issues to start up another verbal battle. Deal only with the issues.

4. Apologize to your ex. By now you should have taken a critical inventory of the romance that died. You should have learned what you did that caused the breakup. Once you acknowledge your part in the breakup, you are ready to decide whether or not you are willing to change. Apologize for what you did that caused the relationship to end. You cannot simply offer a blanket "I'm sorry," but should apologize for specific actions.

If you should determine you want to restore the relationship, you must be prepared to change your behavior that led to the breakup. If you are willing to change, understand old habits die slowly. You must be willing to work on changing your behavior continually. And even then expect there to be lapses along the way.

Whether you get your ex back or not, the failure of this relationship has given you opportunities to grow. You are not the same person you were before the breakup. Embrace the new you.