Fathers, husbands, and men everywhere would be wise to realize that real success in life is not determined by career accomplishments, wealth obtained, educational institutions attended, awards won, or even the cars we drive and houses we own. While all of these things mentioned are certainly important, valuable, and should be sought after - real success must solely be determined by who we become, the people we help and serve, and the devotion to, rearing of, commitment towards, and time made for the most important relationships in life - our spouse, children, and family members.
Often we hear the famously quoted words of Abraham Lincoln who said: "all that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." While that is certainly true for me as well, I would confidently add that all that I have become and accomplished, and the very person I am striving to be like, is my own angel father. My father not only taught me how to live, but more importantly, exemplified how I should live. And while my father certainly did accomplish incredible things, advanced in his career, provided wonderfully for his family, and gave us all we ever needed - these things are insignificant comparatively to the much more important things he provided, taught, and exemplified.
However, fathers and men everywhere must never forget that teaching and implementing these principles below takes effort, consistency, and is certainly difficult at times. But as my father can attest - it is certainly worth it. And, I am sure my dad would be the first to agree that when all is said and done, dealing with the disappointments of certain failures is far easier than dealing with the disappointment of certain successes if those successes were not the right successes. Real success in life, as my father taught and exemplified - and which each man must seek to emulate - is made evident in the few principles below, which reveals and leads to the real successes of life!
1) Help with the housework: When was the last time you did the dishes, swept the floor, cleaned the bathroom, or straightened up the house? Your participation in these activities is essential to ensure a happy marriage. We need to eliminate from our minds the inaccurate perception that these duties belong to a woman. Such a mentality is ignorant and selfish! Be a man and learn to help around the house.
2) Be completely true to your wife in thought, speech, and action: The long and slow path that leads to divorce and families breaking up often starts with inappropriate thoughts. Those thoughts lead to actions, those actions become habits, and our habits eventually shape our character and eventual destiny. Be true to your wife in thought! Speak kindly to her and about her! And be completely kind, tender, and loving to her, and do nothing to be untrue to her.
3) Spend more time with your children: Have you ever heard of a man saying this on his death-bed: "I wish I had spent more time at the office." Despite the many pressures and responsibilities we face, let's properly prioritize our time and activities and make more time for those we love and need the most. Your children need you and hunger for your attention - make a resolve to spend more time with them.
4) Control your temper, passions, appetites, addictions, and tongue: The man who is self-disciplined is powerful. Virtue and purity provide strength and confidence. Being slow to anger and able to control our temper is a sign of maturity. Learning to eat properly and exercise often will enhance all other aspects of life. And finally, he who can withdraw from and abstain from the tempting addictions this world so prevalently makes available - that is a man in control and who resultantly has limitless power and potential.
5) Ensure family is a greater priority than work: I know... easier said than done when the boss is riding you, the deadline is approaching, and the promotion is so near, etc. Of course there will need to be a balance in all things; however, is our family the top priority? It should be. And if it is not, we will be that sad and regretful man on the death-bed exclaiming: "I wish I would have spent more time with my family."
6) Make sure you have one-on-one talks with each child - often: Be involved in your kids lives. Talk to them, and listen to them. Provide opportunities for them to come to you and 'just talk.' Go on daddy-daughter or daddy-son dates. Be their friend. Ensure that when they are faced with temptation, become curious, have a question, or face the pressures they inevitably will face - they come to you first.
7) Show your children that you love their mother: You do this in the home - and out of the home - by thought, word, and action. Happy and healthy is the child who knows that their father is true to and in love with their mother.
8) Have a 'Family Nights' together often: Turn off the TV, put the video games away, shut off the computer, and watch fewer movies and spend more time as a family together. Just get together and play games, talk, laugh, and have fun together. It may seem like a little thing; however, if consistently done over time - your family and children will be positively impacted emotionally, socially, intellectually, morally, as well as physically.
Fathers and husbands everywhere certainly have a lot on our plate as we try to balance our careers, education, providing for a family, recreation and social life, community and church service, as well as spending time with our wives and children. However, the items listed above are not suggestions - they are absolute necessities for our own personal happiness, well-being, and eventual success - as well as the happiness, well-being, and success of our families!